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What Remains: A Memoir of Fate, Friendship, and Love, by Carole Radziwill
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A stunning, tragic memoir about John F. Kennedy Jr., his wife Carolyn Bissett, and his cousin Anthony Radziwill, by Radziwill’s widow, now a star of The Real Housewives of New York.
What Remains is a vivid and haunting memoir about a girl from a working-class town who becomes an award-winning television producer and marries a prince, Anthony Radziwill. Carole grew up in a small suburb with a large, eccentric cast of characters. At nineteen, she struck out for New York City to find a different life. Her career at ABC News led her to the refugee camps of Cambodia, to a bunker in Tel Aviv, and to the scene of the Menendez murders. Her marriage led her into the old world of European nobility and the newer world of American aristocracy.
What Remains begins with loss and returns to loss. A small plane plunges into the ocean carrying John F. Kennedy Jr., Anthony’s cousin, and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, Carole’s closest friend. Three weeks later Anthony dies of cancer. With unflinching honesty and a journalist’s keen eye, Carole Radziwill explores the enduring ties of family, the complexities of marriage, the importance of friendship, and the challenges of self-invention. Beautifully written, What Remains “gets at the essence of what matters,” wrote Oprah Winfrey. “Friendship, compassion, destiny.”
- Sales Rank: #9514 in Books
- Brand: Radziwill, Carole
- Published on: 2007-06-05
- Released on: 2007-06-05
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.44" h x .60" w x 5.50" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 264 pages
- Scribner Book Company
From Publishers Weekly
Here's a very sad story: a middle-class girl is working as a reporter at ABC, where she meets a handsome man from a famous family. They court, marry and become best friends with the husband's first cousin and his new wife. Abruptly, the reporter's husband is diagnosed with cancer. He dies, but not before the cousin and his wife (and her sister) die, too, in a senseless plane crash. This would be a heartbreaking story even if it weren't about Anthony Radziwill, nephew of Jackie Kennedy Onassis, and about his and Carole's friendship with John and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. But because its publisher (and, presumably, the author) have decided not to market it as a "Kennedy book" but "a memoir of fate, friendship and love," it begs consideration on its literary merits. So here goes: Radziwill is a serviceable, if sentimental, writer. She is brave, especially when she describes how cancer became the third party in her marriage, and how she briefly flirted with infidelity. She also knows how to convey the essence of a person with small scenes and quotes (JFK Jr. holding his dying friend's hand and softly singing a song from their childhood; director Mike Nichols not calling but just coming to the hospital and handing out sandwiches to the nurses). Still, perhaps in Radziwill's effort to further the myth of its non-Kennedyness, much of this already short book feels padded—with scenes from the author's childhood and medical details about Anthony's treatment. Otherwise, much of Radziwill's writing approaches melodrama, particularly when she recounts that July 1999 night when the plane crashed. At one point, Radziwill scoffs at the "tragedy whores" who luxuriate in Kennedy trauma, and yet she seems to have been unable to resist contributing some crumbs to their feeding frenzy.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Review
"A moving testimony to the tenuous nature of love and life."
-- USA Today
"Stunning...Radziwill gets at the essence of what matters -- friendship, compassion, destiny."
-- Oprah Winfrey, O, the oprah Magazine
"A riveting and heartbreaking journey."
-- Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle
"A stunning memoir of love and loss...Carole Radziwill is a natural storyteller."
-- O, The Oprah Magazine
"One of the best memoirs...a small masterpiece...devastating and beautifully written."
-- New York Post
"Powerfully affecting...a highly compelling read."
-- Vogue
"Bittersweet and tender."
-- The New York Times Book Review
Review
"A moving testimony to the tenuous nature of love and life."
-- USA Today
"Stunning...Radziwill gets at the essence of what matters -- friendship, compassion, destiny."
-- Oprah Winfrey, O, the oprah Magazine
"A riveting and heartbreaking journey."
-- Jeannette Walls, author of The Glass Castle
"A stunning memoir of love and loss...Carole Radziwill is a natural storyteller."
-- O, The Oprah Magazine
"One of the best memoirs...a small masterpiece...devastating and beautifully written."
-- New York Post
"Powerfully affecting...a highly compelling read."
-- Vogue
"Bittersweet and tender."
-- The New York Times Book Review
Most helpful customer reviews
16 of 16 people found the following review helpful.
I Understand the Negative Reviews...
By Jessica
I rarely write reviews on books because I feel that books are very subjective - they transport each of us to different places. But I felt compelled to write a review after finishing this book because I know that had I read this book when it was released, I would have given it one star...but a few life altering years later, I now give it five.
I understand the reviews indicating that the book seemed self-congratulatory and that her feelings toward her husband seemed glib, if not downright cold. Again, feelings I would have shared upon the book's release. Now, I choose to applaud Ms. Radziwill for her candor and honesty.
I watched my mother battle and succumb to a terrible rare, but deadly illness. Our lives were very much the same as Anthony's - one step forward, two steps back. But this is not about my situation, but rather, the lens I was able to use while reading it.
This is a story of a woman who achieved a great deal of professional success and was on the cusp of the proverbial fairy tale. But life dealt her marriage a terrible blow with this devastating cancer that plagued them. It didn't come & stay...it came & went, again and again and again. I believe that, in & of itself, is terribly sad. You have dreams, you dismantle your dreams, you believe in them again, they are shattered again. Yes, I know many people face these difficulties & other hardships, but she is trying to explain how she lived and coped in her own personal way. I had deep appreciation for her willingness to discuss her gamut of feelings throughout those years. When an illness overwhelms your life personally, or by proxy, it is all consuming. It's 24/7. She gave a voice to the spectrum of emotions she felt.
It was no secret that John Kennedy Jr. was her husband's cousin and best friend, so I'm astounded by the number of people who choose to view her relationship with Carolyn in a negative manner. She was illustrating a shared kinship of two girls from remarkably similar backgrounds who ended up royalty (actual and American) in the most fabled and studied family in modern America. I, personally, enjoyed how she humanized Carolyn, gave her a voice, let us get to know who she was. I loved their friendship and their support network.
This, ultimately, is a book written by a woman who is grieving the loss of her husband and the sudden loss of her best friend. I honestly think that if you have not experienced one or the other that you will not fully appreciate this book, that you will, perhaps, "side" with the negative reviews. She states quite clearly that when you are grieving, what remains are your memories and your stories. Her catharsis is to share hers. As someone who watched the person I loved more than anyone else ravaged by a terrible illness for many years, I appreciated her candor. As someone who relied on my friendships to get through that time, I appreciated her willingness to tell her stories with Carolyn. I can't imagine losing the entire foundation of my personal life within mere weeks of each other.
It's a beautiful tome to love, loss, and friendship - it's a book that sticks with you. I think it's a book that can be read and re-read at different times in our lives and appreciated in different ways. To me, that's the mark of a five star book.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Real Housewife goes through Real Hell
By ObsessiveReader
When I first ran across Carole Radziwill she was just another self-promoter on Real Housewives of New York - they all have some product they're pushing, whether it's wine, toaster ovens, or bottles of diet alcohol. Carole was billed as a writer so that meant books.
I'll admit though, I became curious. She was on the way to London to pick up her husband's ashes and she talked about her experiences on the show. I'm widowed as well and I became curious. She'd made some cracks about "widow is the new virgin" which was pretty obnoxious but her feelings on camera seemed real.
Her memoir showed a different picture than the "all work and no play makes me a happy girl" tv persona. She'd grown up hardscrabble, in a large family that sounded both loving and difficult. Her incredible drive came through in every sentence, and while it took her far, it must have been incredibly painful to live with. She clearlly wanted to be at the top and center of the world as she saw it: as a journalist, a writer, a woman, and a social being. And why not? She'd seen it on television and she went for it -- and even got it.
She writes movingly of her husband's cancer treatment and how they coped. However the relationship that she writes of most beautifully and movingly was of her friendship with Carolyn Bessette. There was clearly a bond between these two girls who'd grown up so differently from their husbands but it was more than that. The Carolyn Bessette that most of us knew about was a cardboard figure, a cariacature, courtesy of the media, who'd known how to play hardball with the nation's most eligible bachelor and who summoned Martha Stewart to teach her to cook (I read it in the New York Post so it must be true). Carole's Carolyn was a beautiful, rare person who understood suffering immediately and knew how to help with humor, love and compassion.
Carole makes the loss feel immedate and real - the fateful plane accident succeeded a few weeks later by the death of her husband. She'd lost her entire world.
And yet she has prevailed and written this book. Is it great literature? No? It doesn't need to be. It's simply a reminder that anything can happen to anyone at any time, and that the picture of the rich and famous we see online and in the press is only that - a picture and not the whole story.
It's a very interesting book and if you are dealing with any sort of loss, well, hopefully it's helpful. I found it to be so.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Moving story, well written
By The Blonde Avenger
I overlooked this book originally because I'm definitely not a "real housewives" fan. The few times I have watched the show, I've wanted the 60 minutes back so I can do something constructive with my life. I was more interested from the Carolyn Bessette Kennedy angle. Plus I am Carole Radziwill's age and I grew up with a mother who idolized Jackie Kennedy.
I hardly ever write reviews but this book was so moving that I felt compelled to do so. Anyone who has lost someone suddenly or fought cancer will appreciate this book. But there's so much more to this book. It's a story of love and loss, working hard and fighting hard.
This is why I like this book:
1. It's a Cinderella story, and who doesn't love Cinderella stories? The bride was not unattractive, but by her own admission, she was not model material. As with most Cinderellas, she had no pedigree and her family was solidly middle-class. But unlike most formulaic Cinderella stories, it appears there was no Grand Recognition when they met for the first time while they worked on a project together for ABC. Carole even dubbed them most likely to not do anything together in the future and noted their many differences: neat night owl versus messy morning person, for instance. But over time he fell in love with her brains and personality, which was another reason to cheer her on and to love the story. The respect he had for her smarts --he trusted her with his life and she handled every aspect of his medical treatment-- is evident in their story.
2. I understand biographies are self-centered by nature, but I generally find most "celebrity" stories, whether in book or interview form, tiresome to read. There's much humble-bragging about their "problems." to which most of the human race cannot relate, interspersed with a constant thread of I'm-so-wonderful. ( Gwyneth and Julia, anyone?) Carole's writing style is self-effacing and honest. She weaves a story of how fortune, both good and bad, has worked in her life and in the lives of others.
3. I left this book with complete admiration of her writing. The story itself is heartbreaking. Over a very short time period she endured unimaginable losses. Her closest friend and her husband's closest friend died in a plane crash. Her husband's death from cancer followed three weeks later . Her husband's death was somewhat expected, but losing Carolyn and John Kennedy was not. How one would experience it, let alone write about it, I can't imagine, yet she does it in a way that is neither self-aggrandizing nor self-pitying. (And there is plenty of reason for self-pity, IMO.) She candidly recounts how illness and cancer strained her and her husband to their limits. She presents their struggles with illness and death in a realistically heart-breaking way. It kept my attention.
4. Plenty has been written about Carolyn Bessette Kennedy as a coke-addled, brainless bimbo fashionista. In Carole's story, we see another side of CBK. Carole makes the case convincingly that Carolyn was a funny, delightful and loyal friend.
5. The timeline is logical. Flashbacks should only be done if one is a skilled writer or has a skilled ghost writer. Christina Haag's novel jumped between time periods and it wasn't well done and I found it distracting. In addition, Haag's book was a yawner and I didn't finish it. Carole's novel starts with a dispassionate discussion of the plane crash, then to her Cinderella wedding. She goes back to spend a little time on her childhood and her close Italian family, then she discusses how her life intersected with Anthony and where they went from there. The book ends with a return to the plane crash, but by this time you've gone full circle and you see the emotional impact: she and Anthony were the second people to know John's plane had not arrived at the destination; she had to put the pieces together; she was the one who notified the Coast Guard and started the notification process to the family. Anyone who's had one of those calls late at night can relate to the anguish she and her husband must have been feeling.
As an aside, I had a neutral/no opinion of the Kennedys prior to this book, but my opinion of them was not improved after reading this book. After John junior's sudden death, they circled the wagons and treated anyone who wasn't a blood relation callously. Two days after the crash Carole planned to go to a meeting with the Kennedys to discuss what to do about a funeral. She was going at the behest of Carolyn Bessette's mother. (Carole's husband Anthony was presumably too sick to attend.) Carole writes it was "gently explained" by the Kennedys that she, Carole, was not welcome to attend. She ultimately did not make the meeting due to a late plane, but she learned the Kennedys first wanted to bury John alone in the family plot and not include his wife Carolyn. (All three, Carolyn, John and Lauren Bessette, were ultimately buried at sea.) And while Caroline Kennedy, John Junior's sister, was close to Anthony, this hospitality was not extended to his wife.
tldr: If you are interested in the Radziwills/Kennedys, you'll want to read this book. It's moving and well done.
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