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Get Lost: Your Guide to Finding True Love, by Dannah Gresh
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Have you ever ditched a friend for a guy? Filled your journal with more thoughts about guys than God? Found yourself jealous because that other girl gets all the dates? Maybe it’s time to get lost—in God.
Discover how to get so lost in God that a guy has to seek Him to find you.
Dannah Gresh traces God’s language of love through Scripture to help you pursue your heart’s deepest desires and seek love the way God designed it to be. Because once you identify your true longings and let God answer them, you’ll know just how to respond when romantic love comes along.
With a guided ten-day Love Feast Challenge, Get Lost will help you see for yourself how getting lost in God opens the door to lifelong fulfillment.
- Sales Rank: #56865 in Books
- Brand: WaterBrook Press
- Published on: 2013-04-02
- Released on: 2013-04-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.97" h x .60" w x 6.01" l, .55 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 224 pages
- Waterbrook Press
Review
Praise for Get Lost
“So many girls who are longing to be loved are looking in all the wrong places to be filled. Get Lost reaches into those searching hearts, pulls out deepest longings, and whispers brave truths about a feminine heart’s inherent search for love. Dannah Gresh tenderly reveals how to discover faith-filled contentment that will last a lifetime. Get Lost is a generational game changer!”
—Tracey Eyster, author of Be the Mom and founder of momlifetoday.com
“Confusing our desire for God’s love with a desire for a man’s love is easy to do. Dannah helps us understand God’s created design for this love craving, how we should respond, and what a true God-honoring relationship looks like. Her refreshing honesty and transparency reflect an authentic desire for Him. Dannah is wise and a worthy guide to follow.”
—Barbara Rainey, cofounder of FamilyLife Today
“For every girl who has been in relationship after relationship and lost herself somewhere along the way… For every girl who has lost hope that God’s best is really out there when it comes to love… For every girl who has lost something precious and found heartbreak, hurt, and disappointment… Get Lost is for you. So much more than a Christian how-to guide for love, this book will change the trajectory of your heart by moving you from boy crazy to God crazy. Every girl needs to grab a copy and get lost in the wise guidance and biblical love story Dannah weaves so well.”
—Erin Davis, author of the One Girl series
“This is not just another ‘find your man’ book for young women. In this compelling read, Dannah Gresh effectively shows young women how to be lost in God first, so that if God then calls them to relationship, they will be far more able to love their man well. Dannah, you are a treasure, and so is this book!”
—Shaunti Feldhahn, best-selling author of For Women Only and For Young Women Only
“With transparency, winsome imagery, and wisdom, Dannah Gresh tells it as it is. We want boys more than we want God, yet only when we focus on His love, His life, do we find the fulfillment we seek. I got lost in the pages, and I can’t wait to share this book with the young women in my life. Getting lost in God is a message worth proclaiming!”
—Tricia Goyer, best-selling author of Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom
“I can’t wait to get this book in the hands of every young woman I know. Dannah not only points out the dead end of trusting in a guy for fulfillment; she practically shows you how tp make Jesus the One your heart adores.”
—Juli Slattery, psychologist, author, and cofounder of Authentic Intimacy
“This is one of those books that I learned from as I read but feel like I’ll return to and learn from over and over as the truths continue to digest into my soul. Dannah is easy to read and feels like a trusted friend.”
—Annie Downs, author of Perfectly Unique
About the Author
Dannah Gresh is the best-selling author of eighteen books, including And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe (with Nancy Leigh DeMoss), and What Are You Waiting For? A popular speaker nationwide, Dannah has long been at the forefront of the movement to encourage tweens and teens to pursue purity. Dannah lives in State College, Pennsylvania, with her husband, Bob.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
God. Guys. And the Great Mix-Up.
This is a book about God…
…and guys…
…and how we get them mixed up.
Oh, do we ever.
It shows up in the little things: picking the short skirt, racing to update a relationship status on Facebook, filling a journal with guy-talk instead of God-talk, texting under the pillow at night, jumping from guy to guy, taking the “walk of shame”…again, or bailing on friends when a guy calls. As you think about similar choices in your own life and what they suggest about the priorities of your heart, you may have an intuition that I’m right. Your spirit gets it, if your mind does not.
I’m certain that a part of you desperately wants to get lost in God’s love. At least some small piece of us always seems to be aware that we are wired to seek God’s heart and to let Him touch our own. But it’s so difficult. After all, the love of a guy is so stinkin’ tangible. You can see a guy. Smell a guy. Touch a guy. Hug a guy. Text a guy. Get gifts from a guy. And they are everywhere! There are more than 139 million men in the United States alone. No wonder we get distracted from seeking God’s love! I certainly have been prone to reach for the tangible love of a guy rather than the ultimate love of God. As I look back on one particular scene from my sophomore year in college, I see it as a classic example of my own mixed-up thinking.
“I’ll meet you in the yearbook office in one hour,” I confirmed to Russ before I hung up the phone. Russ was my yearbook editor at Cedarville University, and after two years of hard work, I was in line for his position the following year. On top of being a great résumé builder, the job came with a hefty scholarship. If my boss needed me, I’d
be there!
Since I wouldn’t have time to hit the cafeteria, I turned on my electric kettle to boil water for some Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. It wasn’t fancy, but it was fast. I was pouring neon-orange powder over buttered macaroni noodles when my phone rang again. Before I could get out a hello I heard, “Dannah Barker, say you’ll marry me. But if you can’t, then at least break it to me gently by saying you’ll go to Wittenberg with me to study.”
Bob Gresh!
This guy, whom I’d been dating for a while, always kept me laughing.
“Yes!” I giggled. “When?”
“I’ll be right over,” he said. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Bob was the definition of spontaneity.
“Umm,” I hesitated, thinking about the commitment I’d just made to go help Russ. And I really did want that job next year. Should I risk it?
“We’ll run through Lee’s on the way for some chicken,” he promised.
“Well…okay,” I said, dumping my noodles into the trash can. “Let’s go!”
For a brief moment, I considered calling Russ to cancel, but I wasn’t sure what to tell him. The truth: This great guy just proposed marriage or a date at the Wittenberg library, and I chose the latter when I’m really shamelessly going for the first option! Or the other truth: I’m a complete dolt, risking what I’ve worked two years to achieve in that
yearbook office all because I’m incapable of saying anything but “yes” or “oh, yes!” to this guy because I crave him night and day. Either way I’d sound like a complete loser.
So I didn’t call Russ. I needed to think of a good excuse first. (Read: I was planning to tell a really good lie.)
I gathered my books, met Bob in front of my dorm, and jumped into his white sports car, casting aside my integrity.
God in all His sovereignty made sure I’d run into Russ’s best friend at the Wittenberg library. Russ was forgiving, but I’d have given almost anything (except my boyfriend, of course) to have not seen the disappointment register in his eyes when the truth unfolded.
There was no denying the truth.
I was guy-crazy with no ambition to be God-crazy.
That impulsive decision—along with so many others—was driven by a deep-rooted reality: I had confused my longing for God’s love with my longing for a guy’s love. All because of the Craving.
The Violent Craving.
You have it. Your friends have it. Your mom had it. Your grandma had it. Your greatgrandma had it. It’s been around awhile.
Countless generations of woman have experienced it.
The Craving is a part of the Curse, which means it dates all the way back to Eve. After she and Adam sinned, God showed up to explain that things would never be the same. To Eve, He talked about the Craving. Genesis 3:16b reads, Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.
The word “desire” is critical here. Two respected theologians once said that the Hebrew language used in this verse evokes a “desire bordering upon disease.” They also said that the desire might best be called a “violent craving.” In the original language of the Bible, God used some pretty expressive wording to describe what women would experience in relation to men after the Fall. Simply put, we hunger for them. The Craving makes us all insatiably hungry for the attention of a guy, but each of us experiences this desire in a slightly different way.
I asked college-aged women who follow my blog to share how the Violent Craving has shown up in their lives. Here’s a sampling of their responses:
I have felt the Violent Craving expressed as jealousy toward my peers that have boyfriends. How foolish I felt, to feel jealous instead of happy, when a friend started dating a guy I DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO DATE.
Elementary school to high school, I didn’t get the attention I wanted. I was the chunky monkey that everyone went to for a good laugh. It wasn’t until I got to be around 16 I got the attention from guys, and it got the best of me and took one of the most valuable things from me—my virginity. I lost it to a friend who liked my sister and respected her, but thought I would be the easier choice. And he was right.
My main regret would be that I haven’t spent my time enjoying my singleness.
There used to be a boy that I cared for very much. He was godly Christian, extremely polite, and we communicated through e-mail almost daily. My deep longing to be desired and pursued blinded my eyes from the warning signs that he wasn’t everything he claimed to be. A year or two after I met him, he ended up having sex with my younger sister on the couch in our living room.
I went to a secular university and was involved in a campus ministry. One of the most popular sayings among the girls was “ring by spring.” To say there was a Violent Craving toward the idea of having a husband is an understatement.… I was the only single girl in the apartment. I allowed myself to be ruled by a Violent Craving for a husband.
My Craving started at the age of twelve when my dad passed away. I longed for a man to notice me. I wanted that attention. I dressed to attract men and wanted a man’s approval.
They shared countless such stories, each expressing a sense of “eureka” at finally having a diagnosis for their symptoms! Of all the voices who offered examples of how they express, deny, loathe, live in, and ache from the Craving, it was a sweet seventeenyear-old girl whose experience mostly clearly described the effects of the Genesis 3:16 curse. She wrote,
I’m seventeen, raised by a very liberal mother and an extremely conservative father. That marriage didn’t work out. It ended when I was seven. Since then, I’ve always been very angry about marriage and cynical of love, due to its causing much pain, loneliness, and anxiety in my life. I swore I’d never marry. But even with all that confusion and anger, I still desperately wanted to be noticed and passionately loved by a man. I wanted someone to see and know me. The first guy I had any real relationship with, I clung to for four years, desperate for his attention and love. During those four years, I made many mistakes. I gave him everything I could physically and emotionally just to keep him around (except the actual act of sex). He was a need. A necessity. But why? I hated marriage yet wanted a man.
She “hated marriage yet wanted a man.” I believe that’s the modern-day aftermath of the Fall. The consequence of original sin—and all the ways women have rebelled since then against God’s design—results in both a hatred of God-designed marriage and an insatiable longing for the presence of a guy. (The Craving may not cause you to actually hate marriage, but you may hate God’s specific design and purpose for it. A lot of us struggle with that!) I believe that every daughter of Eve is burdened by both a Craving for a husband and a rebellion against God’s design for marriage. What a mess!
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Not to be cliche, but it may have changed my life
By LittleJoSleep
Dannah Gresh is a remarkable woman. She speaks honestly and directly, and wouldn't dream of beating around any bushes. She speaks directly to young women and poses the difficult question, "Who REALLY has your heart?"
If it's not God, she says, then you're doing it wrong.
With a 10 day "love feast" (read: Bible Study) that strongly recommends you fast from guys (making it a... love fast?) she walks the reader through the recesses of their hearts, bringing to mind the question posed by Jesus in John 21--"do you love Me more than these?"
A soul-searching question. I would recommend this book for any young lady (also, probably anyone, as the principles are fairly universal) who struggles with pretty much anything guy-related.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
"Must-read" for your Daughter...and You
By Michelle Stansell
Dannah Gresh has hit the bullseye once again! Her love for Jesus is apparent and her desire to help young ladies fall in love with Him is contagious! Your daughter will learn and mature as she reads this book and takes the challenge to "get lost" in Jesus instead of the crowd or in her infatuations with young men. You might even find yourself growing closer to the Lord as you read this book alongside your daughter, Mom! Dads who want their daughters to make wise choices about men should definitely consider this book for their teen daughters.
Younger teen girls might not be ready for some of the content of the book, so I recommend that you preview it before handing it to them. I was so excited to receive the book that I immediately gave it to my barely 13-year-old, then went to her an hour later and took it back. It could be a great tool to start some discussions, but I feel that she needs some other reinforcements before reading some of the deep truths of humanity that are included in this book. Besides that, most 13-year-olds are not looking for "true love" just yet, even if they are going through some true "boy-craziness".
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Within the first 12 pages ...
By Anonymous
I recieved this book today and have read 12 pages... That's right, only 12, and this book has hit me. Within just the first 12 pages Dannah has hit the nail on the head with what I am experiencing. Thank you Dannah for this book, I am SO excited to continue reading along with the other books I bought "The Bride Wore White" and "What Are You Waiting For?: The One Thing No One Ever Tells You About Sex." *Way to go Dannah!
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